I brought something to Jesus in prayer earlier this week. I explained to Him why I should get what I was asking for. “I did this and that right, could you please just pull a few God-strings for me and make it happen? M’kay, that’d be great, thanks.”
The audacity of my attitude slapped me in the face.
Who did I think I was? Just what did I think God owed me? “What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?” (1 Corinthians 4:7)
I faced two obvious options:
1. I could wait with an anxious heart for this prayer to be answered, fretting and pleading to get my own way. If the answer was favourable I’d be triumphant, and if it I wasn’t I’d be crushed. That’s kind of how it goes when you’re praying for your own will to be done.
2. I could truly put it into His hands and trust His judgement. Whatever answer comes, I would have peace knowing that it had passed through my Heavenly Father’s hands. I could ask for His will, not mine, to be done.
This was another grace-filled moment when the Spirit of God convicted me of my pride and selfishness. I have far more than I deserve. I was gently reminded me that He knows what I need. He will be glorified in my life and I just need to trust Him. Do I have enough faith to believe that whatever the answer to my request, He is good and loves me, and will work it all out for my good? “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:6-7)
I opened my grabby hands and gave it up.
Open hands, and a thankful heart. That’s the posture I want to have, willing to receive whatever Jesus chooses to give me, knowing that He loves me. The peace of option 2 sounds way more fun than anxiety.