I’m not a typical pastor’s wife.

Most pastors’ wives express this sentiment in no uncertain terms. We generally mean that we are not saintly ladies who always have a pious word of encouragement to offer, we do not jump at the chance to spearhead the children’s ministry, we aren’t willing or able to lead the congregation in song as we play the piano for an impromptu hymn-sing, our houses are a mess, we aren’t gracefully pulling casseroles out the oven for dinner guests every night, and our kids can’t recite entire books of the Bible from memory. This isn’t an exhaustive list, but you get the idea.

It’s becoming increasingly clear to me that when women say they’re not a typical pastor’s wife, they really mean they’re not stereotypical. It seems to me that any pastor’s wife who does not fit the stereotype is in fact, quite typical.

If I might make broad generalizations based on my own experiences, I would say that pastors’ wives typically don’t have a signature casserole, we feel unprepared for the role we find ourselves in, we worry about the expectations of others, we’re in need of encouragement and often forget to give it away, we don’t know what we’re gifted at, we have children who are as disobedient as anyone else’s, and through it all we love the church deeply.

Yesterday we stood before our home church for the last time as we were sent out as part of a church planting team to our new city. As Clay spoke a word of thanks and asked for prayer for this new chapter in our lives, I was a weepy mess. I looked up at that church – the beautiful gathering of Jesus loving people that have been integral parts of our lives for the past six years – and I could do nothing but cry. I love the church: I love the people, I love their passion for Jesus Christ. I love the stories of redemption and restoration that I have had the incredible blessing to see unfold before my eyes as we have journeyed through life and learned together what it means that it’s all about Jesus and that his gospel changes everything. I love my church and it is painful to leave it behind, but I also have a new church family to call my home. I know that Jesus has incredible things in store for us as we buckle up and hang on while the Holy Spirit continues his miraculous work of saving souls as we bring the gospel forward into more enemy territory.

In that tear-filled moment at the front of a jam packed movie theatre filled with Jesus worshippers, I was a mess, but because of Jesus I am a beautiful mess who loves the church and am thrilled to be by my husband’s side on this adventure I would never have scripted for myself.

I may not be stereotypical, but I think as far as pastors’ wives go, I’m pretty typical.

One Response to “A Typical Pastor’s Wife”

  1. Sarah MacMillan:

    Love you, Kim. And well said. I was bit of a mess on Sunday too. We’ll miss seeing your faces every week, but you’re still very much in our hearts. -Sarah

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